Dear Old Friend
by BananaBabe903
Summary: The Doctor reflects upon the pain and misery he caused each of his companions. For XTGX's shuffle contest. Song-fic. Rose/Doctor, slightly every other companion/Doctor


**This is my 50th Story!!! :) Yippee!**

**I'd like to thank XTimeGirlX, for being one of my good friends here, including reading my stories and giving her honest opinion and for doing everything she could! :)**

**Also, this is my entry for XTimeGirlX's iPod shuffle contest. Please READ AND REVIEW! :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who or the song, Patty Griffin owns it. **

**Song: "Dear Old Friend" by Patty Griffin  
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_How will we smile ever again  
I'm asking you sincerely, my dear old friend  
What do you say, is there a way  
My dear old friend_

"Godspeed, my angel," the letter read. Her voice ran through his mind. The pain… what was this feeling in his heart? Love? Regret? Angst? It wasn't his fault. It wasn't his fault at all. It wasn't… it was never his fault. It was _their _fault. Their fault for dying, for living such short lives… it was all their fault for losing the battle. How many millennia would it take for humans to learn, to learn to keep on fighting the battle? How many more times would they have to lose in order for the next one to learn?

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_How will we laugh just like before_

_When there's water rising up to our door  
And we may never see each other again  
My dear old friend_

"Goodbye Doctor." He heard those two infamous words too many times before… and he didn't need it from her for the second time. He had Mickey and Rose… and he _surely _didn't need his past… she was older now, of course… she couldn't run as fast… it was for her own good. It wasn't his fault that he had to leave her… she wouldn't be able to keep up. It was her time to go.

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_Will there be someone to remember  
A little place that we loved  
How the music played all night and day  
Through the windows up above_

She was his love. There was no doubt about it—she was so _human_. So stubborn, so ignorant… so lovable, beautiful, and innocent. He had changed her. Even her mother saw it. It was her time to leave. She was safe on that other world—she had always said she wanted a new start. She got it. When the tears flooded down her face and into her hands, her mascara and eyeliner smeared—he couldn't have been more heartbroken. Some companion's consequence from traveling with him was simply saying goodbye, or seeing the selfish heart of the world, or even _dying_. That wasn't nearly as malicious as what he put her through…

Nothing can poison your heart more than being separated by a wall from your love… your true love.

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_How will we smile ever again  
I'm asking you sincerely, my dear old friend  
What do you say, is there a way  
My dear old friend_

"This is me getting out." Of course she had to be bloody mad enough to fall in love with him. Of course she had to die every time he mentioned his flower. Of course he had to go right ahead and be oblivious—until it was too late. She would walk the Earth just for him with her brilliance and courage… she was wise though. Wiser than the others—wise enough to leave. Not put herself through the pain he had put through the others. Not to be blinded by beautiful planets and horrifying monsters, instead seeing the practical side of the situation… He couldn't blame himself for that one, could he?

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_How the birds sang in the morning  
How the dog barked in the yard  
I guess that's nothing much but everything to us  
And that's what seems so hard_

It must've had killed her to see her future lover oblivious and angry and reckless. It must have been bloody painful to see her true love to not know her… to not love her. "Spoilers," she said. She promised she'd meet him again—she promised. But if anyone knew, he knew, that promises could not often be kept. Promises of "forever", promises of "safety"… in the end, everyone just let him down.

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_How will we laugh just like before  
When there's water rising up to our door  
And we may never see each other again  
My dear old friend_

She was his best mate, with her fiery ginger hair, her snappy personality… but he could see her self-consciousness… she was afraid of losing the battle, never giving up. And for a moment, he almost thought that there _would _be a 'forever' with her… but he was wrong. He was so very wrong. Because things had to change. No matter how much he desired, his best mate wouldn't be there with him when he died. No matter how much he tried.

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_  
How will we smile ever again  
I'm asking you sincerely, my dear old friend  
Tthe moon on the hill says we probably will  
My dear old friend_

_  
_He deserved something. He saw the pain he caused others—they thought the planets and the stars, and everything was perfect and that it'd last forever. But he knew better… he promised never again to put _anyone _through that pain…

He had blamed it on his companions... but truth in truth, their pain and misery was all his fault. The Doctor's fault. The Lord of Time, had killed them. Emotionally and physically.

Because everybody lives, and everybody dies. And nobody knows it like the Doctor.

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**Like? :) FIFTIETH STORY! PLEASE REVIEW!!!! And check out a story I co-wrote with XTimeGirlX called "Here Come the Girls" on my profile! :)**


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